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Going back to the "winning of heart" topic, I just wanted to say that it does not mean, to me, lying, putting up a show, and pretending to be what you are not. If you take a real close look at the whole thing, it boils down to being a decent person - on both parts. It is the Russian bride's job, I think, to be (or become) such a woman - a lady- that deserves falling in love with, being loyal to, preferred over the rest. And it is the man's job to be the kind of a man that such woman will choose and love.
Of course you can pretend, and many do. Discerning who is for real is the trick.
I need to be sure I'm reading this thread right...
It is okay for the women to see who they want, when they want and as often as they want, but the men cannot, and if they do the woman has every right to label him as a cad and dump him?
As for me, I am only visiting one, but I do have a problem with the above logic.
No, at least not in my case. I was committed to one man, my future husband, and saw no one else. What you describe is double standard, and it is not right.
Sounds like my previous maried life. Just throw in a biker dude.
Remember me? Reagan's our favorite president and I'm the WOVO guy that switched over to WMVM recently after I found out how bad the woman was after she lied about a visa and replied to fake e-mails I sent in after I visited her and our one on one relationship we agreed on.
Just because a man is WMVM doesn't make him a playboy by any means even though I admit they may be more likely to mess around. I have proven to be a man that can totally dedicate myself to one woman. This time I need to see more than one lady to make a better decision. I'll eventually go back to WOVO.
There is no way I will commit to a woman by mail and phone conversations. A woman should be leary of any man ready to commit before seeing her. Besides needing to see if a woman can have a good conversation with me, I need to see if she'll take my hand when I offer it and if she enjoys sitting close to me. Physical attraction is a neccessity. I heard of men going to visit a lady and the lady looks way different or 10 years older than her photos she submited. There is a lot of risk for a WOVO as I have been educated the hard way.
Whatever you do, have a great time out there.
Now that you've made a choice to be WMVM, do yourself a favor and drop the two-bit sentimental crap like a hot ton of lead.
RW/UW will be far more adept at this MOB dating game than you can ever imagine.
Understand what a WOVO is and what a WMVM means. If you can't, you're toast!
David, I'm not being critical. You need to really make up your mind what you want and how you want to approach this now - TODAY. There hasn't been anything in all your posts that even remotely convince me YOU can handle being a WMVM.
I hope you take this post as intended....
-a friendly caution-
Goodluck!
add - of course *YOU ARE* different
:chuckle:
I don't have any problems with that. When you just begin writing, you introduce yourself to several ladies, get to know them, and then choose one. Your relationship is not yet exclusive, and the lady knows it. I understand the man's desire to visit more than one as well, especially if he is not sure, but I would still advise trying to focus on one.
Maybe it's just me, I can't date two men at the same time. I had answered letters from several men, and they all knew I was writing to several. But from the very beginning, I was looking forward to seeing which one was the most interesting to me, so that I could focus on that relationship.
Some say you can't really get to know a person through letters. My husband and I did. We did not fall in love via e-mail, but we got to know each other well enough to commit to exclusive relationship before we had met. For me, it was perfect. Rather than being torn apart between several possible choices, I had picked one that I thought was the best. I figured, if it turns out that he is not "the one," oh well, I will have to start all over again, but he is definitely worth to be my only choice for now. I didn't think it a waste of time. And I must say I was well rewarded. :)
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