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Aside from all the conceptual debate in this thread the details you mentioned about "L" the Russian bride sound really really positive as far as her being serious minded and excited to meet you.
When I and then my wife read the part about her making a dress to meet you in we both thought that said a lot about her.
This was a big reason I suggested on page one here that if you are able to return to the FSU later (to assure your brain you can pursue others and relieve the "make it work" syndrome from taking affect) then go visit "L" only with maybe a backup plan if you crash on day 3 or something. She sounds worth the focus to me.
If you instead coudn't make another trip later maybe that would be different. But knowing you can come back if things don't pan out with "L" in my mind gives you a great scenario.
Same one I had in fact on my first trip. I went to see only my "L" on my trip - yet I had penpals still in the works. In my heart I felt sure my "L" was the "one" but my brain told me to keep others in email so I wouldn't force a relationship or ignore bad signs.
This allowed me to be prudent and yet give my first meeting the best chance at blossoming if we had chemistry. I wasn't overly focused on making trial decisions on every detail and she wasn't secretly pissed off I was meeting other women in 5 days.
:) Best of both worlds.
See my point?
I've stayed out of this mainly because a lot of this has already been rehashed again and again.
I couldn't have said it better. Viktoriya would not have come to Kiev if I were seeing someone else as well.
I think some of this has to do with how you meet the woman.
If the woman is in a Marriage agency, then to some degree she has already decided to play the game, and has accepted the rules: Which are that you will "try out" many choices before settling on one partner.
That is typical of the Marriage Agency process. Not always, but often enough that if a woman joins an agency, she expects it. And, in return, she is probably writing to several men.
OTOH... A woman who responds to an ad in the paper may not be writing anyone else, though. And she probably doesn't want you to, either.
That was the case with my wife and me.
Now, in truth, when my wife first wrote to me, I was writing to another lady, too.
But, when she and I hit it off, and our letters went from the "Hi, how are you" to more personal details, I wrote to the other lady and told her I thought she was a great person, but that I had found someone else.
I viewed letters as a form of courtship. I would not court two women at the same time.
I don't criticize those men that do, although I confess that I don't understand it, because it's just not in my nature.
I guess the only thing that bugs me about this whole discussion is that the WMVM seem to treat WOVOs like hopeless romantics who are not being intelligent.
And yet, it appears to me, that both sides have as many successes and failures.
Gon mentioned Luck4UNMe, but he was hardly a WOVO/One Week Wonder. Maxx wasn't either.
Dating 100 women in Russia will not make a marriage in America any better.
I never said nor implied "one week wonder" in this thread.
The only point I was hoping to make was that even with prior emailing you need to approach trip/meeting number one with a knowledge that you have other options so you do not force a relationship on your trip.
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