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I simply don't believe there any Russian women left who would think 12k a year its a lot of money. May be 5-10 years ago when all this internet stuff was fairly new. Now, when girls have access to forums where they can speak with those who are married to Americans, when they read in almost every "Moskovski Komsomoletz" an article about how unhappy and poor those who marry Russian girls are, now they know more or less each of them who is in this "business" of posting profiles and hunting for foreign husband that 50k a year are not big money in California,LOL (for example) Girls think that 50$ its a big money but.. in Ukraine. They don't think 50$ its big money (or may be not a money at all, LOL) in USA. They think - "If I make 200$ a month and I save and buy myself winter fur coat "dublenka" for 500$, a guy who makes 50k a year should buy me 'dublenka for 4k. But 50$ in Ukraine spent on clothes cost as much as 50$ in USA spent on clothes. And even if you get 50k a year, most likely you don't buy 4k coat for winter. Thats the point and its what they don't understand. As for food for 50$, I can eat here in Oregon in a very nice place for these kind of money. I would not say its cheap... Especially in a country where some people just make 50$ a month..
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It's all a matter of perspective, and I am speaking from personal experiance.
EXAMPLE: if you're used to an income of $250/month... that is $3000 / year....
there are some people that have unrealistic expectations.
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I understand what you are saying. But in Ukraine or Russia, people do not use credit. If with our income 50k a year (average?) in USA we pay taxes from these money, then we usually have credit card bills, house payment, very high (comparing to Ukraine) utility bills, insurance, cars, in Russia or Ukraine if they tell you "I make 200$ a month they mean 200$ a month after taxes. Then they don't pay a house payment, they usually live with parents, utility bills something like 30$ a month, they don't have cars, don't have insurance to pay, no credit card bills and all these 200$ (for example) they got to spend on food and clothes and monthly passes for a bus. Thats why when they hear 50k they cannot imagine that after you pay all the bills we got here, its sometimes the same 200$ (may be 800$ from 50k wage) a month left on food a clothes. So, my lesson I learned - do not tell your income before taxes. Tell them how much is left after you pay all your bills and taxes.
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Average income for a family of 4 in the US according to the US census is 43K.
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you have done a great job explaining your points, bravo!!!. Phil, you have also made a good comment that it is really what is left after you pay all your bills. You are correct that in the FSU, there is no credit, it is a cash society.
I think there really is no easy way to try and explain your situation because every person on the other end will interpret it differently based upon their own personal experiences.
I know my wife is very adept at understanding the money/expenses issue, however, she is not yet here, and it is still hard to comprehend. I remember a conversation which I explained what I am take home a month as a self employed person after I pay all my business expenses, and although I am doing quite well right now (the oil and gas industry) it doesn't mean that 3 years from now it will be the same. Only when she is here I will imagine she will understand fully. The point is, she trusts me enough with how I handle money that I will be a good provider for our family.
The only concern I can see with your posts is your impression of what the primary motivation with Russian women. From the looks of it, you have never been to Russia/Ukraine and you seem to not be open to what others have said who are in the "know". Your preconcieved notions can be dangerous when trying to develop any relationship. You may run the risk of questioning everyone you speak with and not trusting anyone.
That being said, I wish you all the best in your search.
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