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good Russian women post. I hope there is something that Clyde is interested in that will also interest the 14 year old. Clyde, do you have any hobbies. Hunting, fishing, camping. Do you have any interest in stuff like this? You have to find something you both like to do, then do it together.
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I am fond of bowling and swing dancing.
The boy likes contact sports like wrestling and judo.
Maybe a car show would be nice, he is into cars.
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Have you taken them bowling yet, see if he likes it. Maybe you both can take Judo classes together. If you are better than him I think he'll respect you.
The car show is a good idea. I think a good thing is to find somethings you two can share in together.
How are things in school, to work with him on his homework, are there some common interests there?
An example of some of the things I do with my ladies daughter:
Homework together everynight.
She likes dolls so I bought her a few and we painted her room the colors she wanted and put doll stickers on the walls.
We go for walks as a family and play tennis sometimes.
Tonight I am taking her to a roller skating party that her school is putting on.
What things have you done to try and bond with him and her?
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I am not a Mom of 14 y.o. guy , mine is only 6 y.o. And I am not living in USA and I am not from Ukraine . Anyway I woudl like to share my thouths. First of all , I do not see what is Mum doing on this situation? Why only Clyde has consern... I am not going to discuss the teenager's problem, we all know what a hell can be this age for both sides ( parends and kids) . I would like to ask where is the Mum and wife? If Clyde has to respect son's and mother's feelings , why step-son has nothing to respect? why the life of his Mum means nothing for him? Why love of the Clyde means nothing for this woman , if she let her son be a cause of problem"s ? And pleaseeee , he is 14 y.o. one , who is smart enought to select for EXPENSIVE gifts and to milk Clyde , and who will be able to servive in Ukraine with good father (I supposte , since I am not from Ukraine) . If his monther did not take any effort to find out what her son wants ( stay in UA or live in USA) , what a hell we all want from Clyde in this story? She had let him to make a choice to stay with father or to go with her . So now she woudl be able simply to ask him to keep his mouth close.
If I would be on place of Clyde, I would realy seriously speak with woman. As less emotions as possible , and explain the situation from my point of view, I would ask her what is her point of view and what I can do better in situation for her opinion, and what she thinks she can do better , and what we have to do with boy. And after all , we woudl make a common strategy to watch him and common point of view and we would "cover back of each other" , to bring everything to the good end. If she wants of course to have the good end of this story. If boy still will stay on his point to be back . I would take a chanse to speak to him as to adult one - with all logic and facts, chain of conseqvenses and responsibilities and after it I woudl give him a chance to make a choice.But I'll insure before he understands what he woudl loose and what we would get with both decisions...
If I would be wife of Clyde ( ohhh so many roles for me in this topic-))), I would kick ass of my son becourse he has to RESPECT MY CHOICE FOR THE MY LIFE , and I would try to cooperate with my husband to find our ways for guy's intargation into the routine life in USA.
I am mother of 6 y.o. one , but belive me we had the same - tears, beggings to go back to Russia and etc. My spouse and I were not always good enought to watch him , I was not always good enought to watch my husband and my son. We were talking, talking,talking,talking, talking... with son , with husband, with myself:-)))) husband did a lot with my son , and we sucseeded and now I know , my son respects my choice, my husband loves my son.. and I am their Queen:-)))))))) .
p.s. my exuses for the posible mistakes in the post . I am not English speaker in normal life.
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