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My first Russian brides trip to Russia....Tver..
I asked immportant questions....got satisfactory answers.....then just had a good time.....and thought everyting was OK. But in looking back and comparing the experience with
meeting my wife....I realize I knew very little about that woman. With my wife...we always had discussions about life situations, personal opinions on all subjects.....in-depth exchanges. Her real interest in me as a person undeniable. We agreed....disagreed....and really learned about each other. We "earned" each others trust by "doing".....not just "saying". We
had phone calls every day....and always at an agreed upon time. This is more immportant than just
"communication"....I was the one calling .....and so....keeping my appointment. My wife did her part by "always" being there when I called. Our appointed times were
a mutual decission....we never let each other down. Reliability
is one of the best traits you can
demonstrate to your RW......so many things in life are "not" reliable in the FSU.
My wife and I were writing other people....and we were always open about this. When I came to visit her we still continued our corespondences with others.....until "Panic Day". My
wife is usually cool and calm....
pragmatic attitude about so many things. Two days before I left
she blurted out "should I continue to write the others"?
I told her that until we decide if we are commited to each other
.....I see no reason not to continue our contacts. I am no fool....I know what she was fishing for. I said "this has been a wonderful visit....and I want to come back to see you again. We will still have our daily calls etc. etc. I told her it would be foolish to stop these correspondences....only to start over again....if things did'nt work out. I again told her of my affection for her.....but being appart for awhile would put our feelings into more proper perspective. I told her this is wise....she would come to agree with me later. After being home
for a month....I told her one day
that I had decided to end my correspondences with the others.
I said no more. At the end of the phone call she said she was no longer interested in maintaining her other correspondences either.
I told her I only interested in her....she was my woman...I was her man. But because of cultural differences....our conversation did'nt stop there. We agreed on what that meant to us. We were not "engaged" per se...because we were not ready to talk of marriage. But we would be exclussive....because the aim ultimately...was to pursue out suitability to each other....for marriage. Writing to others was never an uncomfortable subject to broach....because we kept everything above board from day one.
On the subject of being "the man"
.....in our pursuit of RW we have been given a golden opportunity to get back what many men have lost....since the seventies....and the sexual revolution....your Balls. Too many men gave in to being what "women" decided a "man" should be. But there is a misconception
about men here (USA) in the "good ol days". Being the head of the household....in my Father and Grandfather's day....did not mean "dictatorship" as many feminist
would portray such a relationship. Those long marriages (good ones) happened for specific reasons. In most of those marriages....the man and wife were a team....equal in all ways....but with separate duties.
In rare moments in their lives...would come a time...where time would not allow for negotiation or lengthy "pondering'.....and a decission would have to be made now. The moments were rare....but they happened.....and there was mutual support. The man was the one with this reponsibility.
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